Confusion

I've been going through a mess of emotions. Life can be Simple. And yet, its so utterly complicated its impossible to explain. Life can seem so so Shallow. But Its so so Deep.

I can explain myself in two ways.

-I'm Kyle Larsen, a teenage boy with a normal family of 4 in a small town in Minnesota. I go to school and get good grades and have good friends. I'm in sports, and I enjoy arts and music. I want to go to college and travel, and raise a family. -Life in a nutshell.

-I'm Kyle Larsen, a hormonally imbalanced charge of electric passion that complicatedly intertwines itself in many different lives. I'm getting an education for God knows what lies ahead, and Im trying constantly to find myself and the point of it all. I exercise to get rid of the stress that comes from trying to please a load of different people with contradicting pleasurful values. Art is Cool. Music paints a world around me that I myself can only see, I can escape within and peacefully be myself in moments of harmonic tuning. Someday im going to turn my brain into mud and then mold it into something great by going to a college. I want to change the world, and thats my best tool to do so. I want to have Kids and see them become succesful and happy, but God knows how much I must sacrifice to accomplish this ultimate responibility. Best part is, all of this runs through my mind and yet I feel as empty as a shell most of the time and it scares me. -Still life in a nutshell, just a bigger nut.

What would it take to fully explain life with just words? A billon well written books? Ha.

Its not possible, and that scares me for some reason. Even in my mind I can't untangle this knot of thoughts and feelings. Things change so quickly and sometimes so profoundly that it still shocks me when it happens.

What was the point of this blog? I just needed to vent, thats what. There wasn't a main theme to work off of.

I can't have an opinion on my opinion, can I?

(Inspiration coming from shelby with a puzzle metaphor: Life is a huge puzzle set. You can put the outside together pretty easily, just match the pieces that are easy because they all have one or two bluntly flat sides. Not hard. But get into the middle and its almost impossible to start. You might get lucky and fit bits together here and there but as a whole its almost impossible to comprehend without a lifetime of observation. And I don't have time to constantly observe my life because I have to be living it. ((Not cliche or anything with the whole I have to be living it part, but I failed to come up with something better on the spot))....)