Shelby

What an interesting specimen to try to decipher.

Everyone needs to have someone there to really make them feel emotions to the fullest. She does this like no other. I find everything funny when in her presence, many of which I would normally find quite bland. I'm constantly surprised by her wit, her smarts, her deep sense of presence. Its intimidating at times. She's a beacon in the night when I'm lost in the thought that there are no girls out left out there with brain matter used for more than coordinating there hands for the lathering of makeup. I respect it so much, and I'm glad to know her for it.

Now that I'm done sucking up, I'll get on with some history. I met her in 7th grade, in something tech. where I called her fat incessantly. Probably because I liked her, and I was sort of chubby, and she wasn't fat at all. But anyways that's all the social interaction that I experienced for a while.

In 8th grade we had geography together and talked some, but we hit it off in 9th grade when we hung in history. I developed a huge crush. I felt like I finally had someone that I actually liked and it was a nice feeling. I was going to conjure up the balls to say something about it when I figured out she was going for an older kid. This crushed me and I gave up instantly and settled for friendship, same old same old. Then in spring we had track meets together huddled in tents for hours and we bonded some there, and I felt the old fire spark up a little. I didn't let it take over though. Over the summer we didn't talk much, but with the beginning of school we once again came into contact and that brings me into the present times.

Math, the class I would normally be least excited for is now one of my favorite class periods because I sit next to her. Even if we don't talk much, I get the pleasure of sneaking little glances at her. This is sure to bring up some random memory of us at one point or another and make me smile. (and she's hot and nice to look at ;D) When we do talk I choke on the butterflies. I feel my IQ drop a few points and I realize how stupid I can sound when I'm trying to impress her. It's a terrible and lovely feeling all in the same moment. I'm a Fool.

So you've guessed it, I've got the same old crush on her again. I can't help it I swear its a spell set upon me to control and warp me. I don't know the cure for it either, and I don't think I want to know.

So this all happens, and we are only two weeks into school. We don't really hang out much sadly, with sports and school and the distance between our houses its quite the juggling act. The one real time we hung one on one was great. We did homework, how romantic. Then we drove around some and got tea that I'm now utterly addicted to. (I blame Shelby for my caffeine addiction) but what I remember most is when I went to drop her off we laid on top of my van and looked at a vast and star filled sky. It was amazing.

Through the visual splendour of it all, I can only remember how I was totally blinded by how much I wanted to hold her hand, to give her a small kiss goodbye and drive away warm and happy despite the chill of the night. Maybe I should have, but I'm unreasonable conservative.

When I get home I snap back to reality. Like all girls she'll just want to keep it friends. I'm terribly hard to date, it must be very hard to take me seriously. It's up to her, I'm well experienced when it comes to this situation and I've learned not to get too caught up in it or to take it personally at all.

Don't get me wrong, I still have hope. It just comes in a thicker, less friendly armor.

To sum things up, I'm exceedingly glad to have this soul touch upon my life. She's improved me, altered my views and inspired me to be things I wouldn't be elsewise.

She's broken my heart without knowing it. At the same time she's made it bigger and stronger.

She's made me laugh more than anyone except Dan, but that's impossible to beat. My spline is proof to that.

She lowers my IQ. But I lower hers more. Its really quite a treat to watch happen.

I won't tell her I love her, because I agree with her blog on how utterly overused and rendered useless those three words are. It's just I'm warmly admiring and glued to her every attribute.